My time as a missionary in Berlin is rapidly coming to a close. I leave this great city on Sunday morning and I arrive back in America Sunday evening. These past few weeks have just flown by as I have been saying good-bye to friends and students and especially the city! This week is filled with good-bye meetings and hectic packing as my final week has somehow arrived quicker than I imagined.

I remember when I was support raising last summer and I would tell potential supporters that I could not imagine a better way to use this last year. I am happy to say that statement rings true to me today! The people I met this year (students, my team, int'l people, etc.) have given me a fresh perspective on life and different cultures and have given me opportunities to improve my communication and conflict resolution skills (haha).

By being here, I have also discovered my love for doing ministry and casting vision! I thoroughly enjoyed when American college students came here for the spring break or for a summer missions trip and I was able to get them excited about being here to reach students for Christ! I also loved meeting with students weekly and studying the Bible together or discipling/mentoring them. I absolutely love seeing people grow and mature in their faith over time!

Above all, this year I have grown immensely closer to the LORD. He has taught me so much through his Word, sermons, great books, and good counsel from friends. I remember reading "Desiring God" by John Piper earlier this year and thinking how blessed I was to have the time and opportunity to really dig deep in God's Word and spend lots of quality time with Him. I have learned ultimately that I need to love God, first and foremost in my life. It's a simple lesson, but one of the hardest lessons in life to consistently accomplish.

In conclusion, I am so grateful that the Lord allowed me to minister in Berlin this year!

"I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together."

Psalm 34:1-3

Hmmm, the bulk of the team leaves tomorrow. Can you say "Pit of Despair?"

[-sigh-]

I need to press on. Trust in God.

If you didn't know already, I am officially going to Columbia in the fall. Woo hoo! Mmmm, did I write about this in my last post? Errrror. So some things I am doing in the next few weeks:

• finding an affordable flat...in NYC
  
• finding a job at Columbia that will pay the bills
• closing up my life here in Berlin
• saying good-bye to people and students here
• getting gifts for supporters and family

I think that is only a third of my To-Do List, which, btws, I wrote on Thursday because I was bored! Ugh. Transitions are awesome but sad and tiring and busy and stressful (which I detest!) and emotional. [-sigh-] I used to be super detail-oriented and efficient (and I think I still can be), but I feel like I have discovered that I do not have to be that way to get things done. It only made me feel very stressed out which made living life terrible. Hmm, this is all sounding very stream of consciousness (which I ♥). Anyways, I only make To-Do Lists now if I know that I have like thousands of things to do, like I do now.

I don't know if this is stream of consciousness. Maybe it is just me typing what I am thinking out-loud. Whenever I say what I am thinking, it normally (for those listening) turns out to be hilarious. I just see it for what it is. I am always observing and wondering and thinking and dreaming and assuming and observing. I can see why maybe women are very complex individuals. Maybe. Whenever I think about myself, I think that I am very simple. And then people tell me otherwise. And then I journal and see that I have so many different levels.

Full stop.

♣

Hmm, so if you did not know already, I was accepted into the Nutrition and Public Health masters program at Columbia University! Yeah, I know. So exciting!!

However, quickly after reviewing my acceptance letter and paying my deposit, my financial aid award came in the mail and I discovered the graduate school costs $$$,$$$. I could, of course, take out $80,000+ worth of loans from the bank, but through lots of counsel and prayer, I have pretty much made the decision to defer for a year (or two), and make the hard trek back to a 9-5 job. Lord willing, I will be able to work, save money, and eventually have my company pay for me to go to grad school. It will be such a challenge to transition from a very fluid 50-60 hour work week here in Berlin, to a very rigid 8-4/9-5 position with non-Christian co-workers and heels.

I think I'm up for it, though. Up for whatever God has for me in the coming years. Unknown future. Known God. Faithful. Provider. Sovereign. Almighty. If God is for me, who can be against me?

Best place to be (the place I strive for every day) is in the center of God's will.